its been a week

so its been a week since he went to johor . he went for his LI . im pleased dat his doin fine there . he seem great this 1 week . but ill still be watching him

well at first , when i know he decided to go to johor he really piss me off . i was ' wu da hell are u doin man, i knw yr ex is there, you really wanna go there ? u wanna be with her or wut' . yaa i knw , im jealous as hell . but then i realise im holding him to tight . so i decided to let him be

so i ask him to promise me so many thing and he did . well he almost agreed . hahaha . so last monday he start his 1st day at work . i was so worried , but yet i didnt disturb him . i wait till he got home . then i text him and called him . i called him few times but he didnt answer . few hours later he tell me dat he was a asleep bcoz too tired . im pity at him , i feel sorry for disturbing him

even he is busy , he still spend time with me . we talk at least once a day . maigadd i miss him so much . really miss him . wont be seeing him during my sem break . maigadd i miss you man

have some gut dude

i used to think that keeping old photos taken with ex are cute 

as it can be use to show to our next generation

but as i grown up

it started to seem useless , ridiculous and nonsense

the more I keep it , the more it burden me

It make me feel like I forgot him already

but the truth is not 100% deleted yet

so I google up on tips how to forget ex or make him vanished forever from memories

1^st thing I learn is to delete his phone number

at 1^st I think I dnt have to delete it cuz he maybe cntact me back

and im right cuz he really does look for me

after a short period I started to realize that this things aint got any progression

cuz everytime he look for me he knw I can recognize him

he might think im still waiting for him *hell no*

so started to deleted his phone number

when he call I pretend to not recognize his voice although I knw dat was his number

so he think I already forget him

it become more fun when he reduces his calls

at last im in peace

but that didn’t work 100% cuz I still keep all those photos with him

during google’ing’ those tips the 2^nd steps is to deleted all softcopy photos and throw all the hardcopy

at 1^st  I dnt really wanna do it cuz it make me feel “ahh rugi lahh all these memories got to throw”

so I decided to keep it for a while

after a while I feel like im not true enaf for sam

the situation is like I still hoping for my ex even I have him

so I took some guts and deleted those photos

for the hardcopy I didn’t throw it easily in the dustbin

but I decided to burn in

therefore I burn all those memories

and guess what

after all that I started to smile on my own and congratulate myself

3^rd steps is to throw all the things he gave me

and I did without hesitation

he gave me his HR tshirt , a DOMO tshirt and a NIKE tshirt

I thrown the HR

the other 2 I didn’t do anything cuz I couldn’t find it

*due to my messy room*

but I swear ill throw it once I find it

so have some gut and do these thing

throw yr ex away

to mr. Ex *which I knw wont read this as he didn’t knw my blog*

I AM HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU BECAUSE I AM WITH A BETTER PERSON WHO LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM

AND HE DIDN’T CHEAT ON ME JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE TO STAY APART

to dear love , thanks to all yr love and affection , Im glad to knw you , cuz when im with you I become a better person . I love you for all that you are , all that you had been and all that you yet to be

blog ni lahh tempat aku mencoret segala isi hati aku . blog ni lahh menjadi saksi airmata aku . peneman aku masa kecewa . masa takdak tempat nak mengadu , blog lahh tempat paling dekat nak dicapai . tp sejak ada pesbuk , wechat aku dh tak sentuh pun blog . kesian blog aku . kalaulaa dia hidup msti dia kecewa dgn aku . maafkan aku blog . in sha allah lps ni aku kerap kerap update apapa kat sini oke . aku bukan apa , aku malas nak bukak lappy :) nak tulih kat tab tak syiok , tak feel nak taip laju2 cm slalu .

2 tahun 3 bulan 1 hari

harini genap 2 tahun 3 bulan 1 hari
and harini jugak dia kata dia tawaq hati dgn aku
salah aku ka ya allah
salah aku ka
teruk sngt ka perangai aku ni
sampai dia tak tahan dgn aku
ya allah
bahagiakanlah dia
walau bukan dgn aku ya allah
aku rela apa saja demi kebahagiaan dia

setelah dua tahun bersama
cukup la dia terseksa dgn aku ya allah
kurniakan lah dia kebahagiaan
biar aku yg tanggung segala duka ni ya allah
aku cuma mahukan yg terbaik buat dia




buat abang, 

abang , maafkan ayg . ayg bukan terbaik utk abg . abg , ayg rela kalau abg dh tawar hati dgn ayg . ayg rela abg cari yg lain . cari lah yg lagi baik dr ayg . ayg nak tgk abg bahagia . maafkan ayg sb ayg selalu buat abg sakit hati , selalu buat abg marah . abg , ayg taktau abg nk buat surprise kt ayg . ayg ingt nk pegi tesco dgn wann tuu sb nak ajak dia teman ayg . ayg tak sehat abg . ayg demam . sb tu ayg tak nak pegi mna sorg2 . ayg tkot apapa jd kt ayg nt susah . lg pun mak tau ayg nak pi kat wann ja . ayg mintak maaf abg . maafkan ayg sb dh buat abg marah . semoga abg sentiasa happy . bukan niat ayg nak mengalah dan lepaskan abg pd org lain . cuma ayg rsa klau kehadiran ayg dlm hidup abg tak membahagiakan abg , baiklah ayg beri abg peluang utk bersama dgn org yg lebih layak kan . ayg bukan mengalah abg . cuma ayg nk abg bahagia . ayg pernah kata kan , klau demi kebahagiaan abg ayg rela buat apa saja . abg , ayg syg sngt hubungan kita ni . sb dgn abg ayg boleh jd diri ayg . abg lyn ayg baik sgt selama ni . abg hiburkan ayg . abg bahagiakan ayg . abg tau tak , tgk abg tidur lena pun ayg dh cukup bahagia . abg , abg dh cukup bahagiakan ayg dh abg . abg bahagiakan diri abg pulak laa . jgn fikir ayg ja . ayg boleh jaga dri ayg . abg buat lah apa yg terbaik utk diri abg . andai abg dh jumpa pengganti diri ayg . bgtau lah ayg dgn cra yg ayg dh tetap kan tuu . in sha allah ayg sanggup terima apa saja demi kebahagiaan abg . 

                                                                                salam sayang dari ayang

Penatnyerr , penat menung jaa . Bru 2 hari start sem baru . Teramat boring sampai taktau nak buat apa . But masuk 2nd day ni dh ada homework dh . Tutorial chemist dgn lab report chemist . Ohmyy , lab report dh la kena buat dua graph . Sadis btoi laa :( nampak nya aku akan kembali aktif lahh lps ni . Aktif berhomework --' blog nii not sure lah sampai bila boleh di update mcm ni , slagi tak bnyk assgment slagi tu laa boleh diupdate kot . Tm wifi plak x dpt , x leh nk berfb , insta , and so on so berblog jelahh dgn service kmph student nihh . Grrrr . Disebablam semalam aku pengsan awai iaitu sejurus selepas azan isyak , maka harini aku nk tangguh semua keja buat mlm ni so that aku tak tidoq awai sgt . Kui2 . Tdoq awai pun buat aku berjaga tghmlm buat apa kann , then dlm kls ngntuk mcm apa g . Hehehe . Mummy nk mai bulan 12 nii , tak sabaq ceqq . Rindunyaa kt adk2 tuu . Klau buleh tgk anak2 tam mesti lg syiokk .

Kdg kdg aku berharap sgt allah tarik segala ingatan aku , biar aku tak ingat pun rasa sakit bercinta . Kdg2 aku menyesal sgt tak ikut ckp mak , jgn bcinta slagi blum waktunya . Tp aku dh tlanjur bercinta , and aku dh syg sgt kt dia , aku tak sampai hati nk lupakan sgala knangan indah kami

Allah maha besar

Hancur hati aku , snang nya dia buat aku mcm ni . Setiap ayat yg dia kt tu mencucuk2 ja aku asa . Perit sgt . Dia dh berubah . Betul dia kata dia dh berubah . Patot laa . Dh makin tak fikir hati and prasaan aku . Klau sblum ni aku wt prangai cm tu takde lah dia mrh sgt , just dia tak lyn aku then dia kta lantak lahh . Itu je . Skrg ni dh naik suara dgn aku , kata kt aku apa yg aku tak puas hati sgt , smua dia buat smua tak kena kt mta aku . Ye aku ngaku aku slh , tp tak pyh la guna ayat cm tu , nada kasar . Kan ke boleh je ckp elok2 dgn aku . Td bila dia ckp mcm tu cpt2 aku nk ltak fon , aku bg alasan org azan sdgkan org dh azan sblm tu j, aku tak sanggup nk bg dia dgr aku nangis , biar lah aku yg tahan perit sakit hati aku ni . Biarlah aku berdosa tipu dia dri dia dgr aku nangis . Biarlah dia nak marah aku tipu dia pun . Biarlah dia marah aku . Aku sanggup kne marah hari2 asalkan dia tak tinggalkan aku . Aku akan pegang janji aku tuu . Sampai bila bila . Apapun demi kebahagiaan dia . Dia pnah ckp kt aku klau x bahagia dgn dia cri je org lain . Msa tu aku rsa hina sgt . Mcm cinta aku slama ni tak bermakna je utk dia smpai snang2 je dia ckp cm tu . Lps dh mcm2 ktorang lalui bersama takan sebab bnd kcik je aku nk tinggalkan dia . Klau btul aku nk tinggalkan dia , ptotnya dri msa dia abaikan aku msa form 5 dlu aku dh tinggalkan dia , sdgkan aku sggup tggu dia msa tu . Takkan tetiba skrg ni aku nk mengalah , aku dh sparuh perjuangan dh .