kadang aku terfikir, kenapa dia sanggup stay dengan aku,
sebab sayang atau rasa bersalah
sebab ikhlas atau terpaksa
andai kata aku ditakdirkan pergi dulu, apa reaksi dia,
rasa sedih ka happy
rasa kecewa ka lega
rasa kehilangan ka hilang beban
bukan aku nak jiwang, cuma terkadang aku hairan
mengapa masih bertahan sedang ramai lebih menawan
ikhlas aku kata kan
aku bersyukur masih diberi perhatian
walau agak berkurangan
namun masih punya harapan
terima kasih aku ucapkan
semoga kita bertahan
menempuh segala halangan
Thursday, December 24, 2015
terfikir
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Fasa P.E.M.U.L.I.H.A.N
[02-Dec-2015 10:15:05 PM] sam__mad: tapi abg syg ayg...
[02-Dec-2015 10:18:29 PM] sam__mad: 2. abg mls nak pikiaq dah masa depan
[02-Dec-2015 10:18:37 PM] sam__mad: abg follow the flow
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:01 PM] sam__mad: 3. nak wat bnda pnting shja
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:13 PM] sam__mad: 4.nak manage diri abg
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:19 PM] sam__mad: kalau ayg nak abg
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:23 PM] sam__mad: wat cranak
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:27 PM] sam__mad: xmau wat cra xmau
[02-Dec-2015 10:19:34 PM] sam__mad: simple
[02-Dec-2015 10:20:06 PM] sam__mad: yg tu atas ayg
[02-Dec-2015 10:20:14 PM] sam__mad: so kalau dah smple sng wat
[02-Dec-2015 10:20:37 PM] sam__mad: kalau abg bleh wat ayg pon bleh
[02-Dec-2015 10:20:48 PM] sam__mad: it seem abg dah bg kbbsan n ayg salah guna
[02-Dec-2015 10:21:08 PM] sam__mad: abg rsa pasai kat ayg la nak wat apa pon
[02-Dec-2015 10:21:17 PM] sam__mad: abg bkn jenis kongkong
[02-Dec-2015 10:21:39 PM] sam__mad: kongkong abg pda hak mutlak abg
[02-Dec-2015 10:22:03 PM] sam__mad: n abg rsa lps kes tu kita dah renggang
[02-Dec-2015 10:22:35 PM] sam__mad: abg xnmpak effort ayg yg sungghu nak pulihkn trust abg
[02-Dec-2015 10:22:51 PM] sam__mad: wlaupon ada effort
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:04 PM] sam__mad: tp bnda kprcyaan mmg bsaq skit
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:13 PM] sam__mad: ayg sndri akui
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:14 PM] sam__mad: sshkn
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:28 PM] sam__mad: tp manusia kan smua wat silap
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:34 PM] sam__mad: then rengang n rengang
[02-Dec-2015 10:23:40 PM] sam__mad: n i feel empty
[02-Dec-2015 10:24:03 PM] sam__mad: but i can manage it with sleeping each day n play game
[02-Dec-2015 10:24:31 PM] sam__mad: abg dah start tawaq hati syg
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
GAP
i admit i hurt you first. but you keep mentioning it. it hurt me every time.
i feel like all those effort i did to win your heart back are useless. i feel like you purposely remind me of it to tell me that you wont forget what i did to you.
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
it will never be the same
i broke his heart, i made him disappointed. i was supposed to take care of myself because we are staying a part from each other. yet i didnt do that. i broke my promise toward him. i guess he coulnt forgive me. it was my fault, treating others to nice without thinking bout him. without thinking it will made him look like he cant take care of me. allahhurabbi, what have i done. i know it will never be the same anymore, im just afraid he just pushing himself to be nice with me. im afraid if he starting to hate me. hanis why you so stupid? why wouldnt i die earlier so that i dont have to hurt him. after all this time, almost 4 years, i am the one who ruin what we've built together. stupid hanis. even if i cry till my eyes blind, it wont change anything. its happen already. i am stupid. i am trying to win his heart back, but he said yesterday that it will never be the same. then i said, its oke, even he have to push himself, as long as he is by my side. i guess i am selfish. after what ive done i still want him to stay. stupid hanis. but i just cant loose him. after everything, i just cant let him go. im afraid i will go crazy. allah, how am i going to win his heart again. what if he didnt want to pick me up at ipoh? i guess i have to prepare if i need to buy other ticket. what if he come, but he hate me? he might hating me even more by just seeing my face. allah, there is so many things might happen. i just couldnt think straight. i am so not ready for test and quizzes. how can i get ready if i keep thinking of what happen. hanis why you so stupid. what if he doesnt want to see my face, it might get awkward. what if he wont let me touch him anymore? wow, so many thing might happen. but the one i afraid the most is he hates me and wont let me touch him. what if he doesnt love me anymore. what will happen to me. i might just become crazy. in fact i guess im going crazy thinking all of this. i didnt even study for tonight test. mom, dad im sorry. its my fault my life become like this. i should've listen to you to never fall in love during study. im sorry im going to disapoint you guys with my result. i guess i wont be the best sister for adik2. im thinking of leaving everyone to stop disapoint people anymore. but it will hurt my family more. i just cant think of anything. i feel so lifeless. its like my life has no point, its like i wasnt meant to make anyone happy. im just keep hurting the one i love, and the one who love me. i guess i have no function to stay in this world. ya allah, please make me stronger. dont let me do stupid things again.
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments
3y 7m 3w
its been more than 3 years. allah how fast time flies. i didnt even realise this. alhamdulillah. for all this time, we manage to face everything. abg youve been a great partner to me. you manage to sabaq with all my karenah. thank you abg for all this thing. you gave me so much happiness. there is nothing more i can ask for you. i just want you to stay with me forever.
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Yes he was my crush. Now? He become my partner
Its been almost a month since our third year anniversary. Alhamdulillah, we still counting together. There been several misunderstanding between both of us since my last post. But yet we manage to handle it. What I found interesting is he becoming more open toward me. He willing to express his feeling either he is mad or what. And the best part of all we never argue more then 12hours. We both can control and be patient. Im so lucky to have him
Well lately I love to do some memories flashback with him. Especially during school time. So many bad things we've done during school time
Well we mostly talk about our most precious memories such as how he proposed me, since when im having crush on him, bout all the things than ive done just to impress him, try to fulfill all his wishes, our 1st date, how we managed to keep our relay as secret for a month, how jealous I am when he talks to others, how impress I am to his intelligence, how happy I am to know him, how lucky iam to fall in love with my best friend
Well as a guys he forget most of it. So once in a while we will have a long conversation and I will tell him all of this. I really hope he will remember when I tell him many time because im afraid if anything happen and I forget about him. I want him to be able remind me to our memories and promises.
I really hope to love him always. I might cried cuz of him some time but he knows how to cheer me. No matter what he do I will support him. I love him, I really do.
Jari yang menaip >> nispipah 0 comments